When life becomes a journey of farewells
By Dr. T. Selva
The older we grow, the more we begin to understand that life is also a journey of farewells.
On May 16, I lost a close journalist comrade, Loh Boon Chuan, who passed away peacefully
at the age of 71.
His passing has left a deep void in my heart, not merely because he was a fellow journalist,
but because I looked upon him as my big brother who guided me during my formative years
in journalism.
Together, we criss-crossed the entire state of Selangor, reporting stories that shaped
communities and exposed truths.
We chased crime scenes in the dead of night, attended political ceramahs under the scorching
sun and pouring rain, and often scooped our rival media colleagues.
We also travelled together to cover events involving the Sultan of Selangor and the Mentri
Besar, while reporting on business developments, accidents, tragedies and celebrations.
Journalism in the 1980s was notmerely a profession. It was a calling that demanded courage,
stamina and conviction. Loh embodied all these qualities.
As a reporter with the Nanyang Siang Pau based in Klang, he displayed remarkable bravery
and dedication in his pursuit of stories.
He made sure no one bullied me and was always protective of me.
He remained calm under pressure, meticulous in his reporting and generous in sharing his
experience with younger journalists like myself.
He was never afraid to ask difficult questions, even when politicians warned reporters not to
touch on sensitive issues.
Despite his seniority, he was never arrogant. Instead, he carried himself with humility, quiet
wisdom and the fearlessness of a true journalist.
On July 3 last year, after many years apart, we met again for a long catch-up session.
We reminisced about our reporting days, the challenges we faced without mobile phones, and
the unforgettable moments we experienced while reporting across Selangor.
Time seemed to rewind itself as we laughed over incidents only journalists would understand.
Before we parted ways, he handed mea bunch of bananas grown in his own garden.
To others, it may have appeared to be a simple gesture, but to me it carried deep meaning.
It reflected the simplicity of his heart and the sincerity of his friendship.
Today, that memory has become even more precious.
Sometimes, the smallest acts of kindness become the greatest treasures after someone is gone.
Since the beginning of this year, I have found myself receiving news of death almost every
other week or hearing about someone I know who is on his or her deathbed.
Some were close friends, some relatives, and some acquaintances from different phases of
life.
Each passing leaves behind a certain silence within the soul.
There comes a point where grief accumulates quietly, like layers of unseen weight upon the
heart.
As we age, we slowly realise that death is not a distant event belonging only to others.
It walks beside life constantly, unseen yet certain.
No wealth, fame, status or influence can bargain with mortality.
Death remains the one appointment every soul must eventually honour.
Yet while death is inevitable, coping with repeated losses remains one of life’s greatest
emotional challenges.
Grief has a way of arriving unexpectedly. Sometimes it appears as tears. Sometimes as
numbness, exhaustion, silence, or even fear.
There are days when one feels emotionally drained after hearing yet another obituary
message or condolence announcement.
One begins to wonder how much more loss the human heart can absorb.
But perhaps coping does not mean becoming immune to grief. Perhaps coping means
learning to carry grief with grace.
I have come to realise that every loss also teaches us something valuable about life itself.
The passing of those we love reminds us not to postpone kindness, gratitude or reconciliation.
We begin to value conversations more deeply. We cherish meetings that once seemed
ordinary.
We appreciate simple gestures — like a gift of bananas from a friend’s garden — because we
now understand such moments may never come again.
Spiritual traditions across the world teach us that the body is temporary, but the soul
continues its onward journey.
Whether through prayer, meditation or quiet reflection, faith often becomes the anchor that
steadies the grieving heart.
It reminds us that while physical presence disappears, love and memories transcend death.
Coping with loss also requires allowing ourselves to grieve honestly.
Society often expects people to “stay strong,” but strength does not mean suppressing sorrow.
True strength lies in acknowledging pain while continuing to move forward with compassion
and purpose.
I also believe that one way to honour those who have departed is by living more meaningfully
ourselves.
To become kinder and to forgive more readily. To spend time with loved ones while we still
can, and to say the words we often delay.
The passing of Loh has reminded me not only of the impermanence of life, but also of the
enduring value of friendship, humility and human connection.
Though saddened by his departure, I remain grateful that our paths crossed in this lifetime
and that we had the opportunity to meet once more before he left this world.
As I reflect on the many losses that have surrounded me recently, I am learning that coping
with grief is not about forgetting those who have gone.
It is about carrying their memories gently within us while continuing our own journey with
courage, faith and gratitude.
For one day, others too will remember us not by the wealth we accumulated, but by the
kindness we shared, the lives we touched and the love we left behind.
Award-winning writer Dr. T. Selva is the author of the bestsellers Vasthu Sastra Guide
and Secrets of Happy Living. To get a copy, WhatsApp 019-2728464. He can be reached
at drtselvas@gmail.com. Website: www.vasthuguide.com